Coming Home to Ourselves
We’ve all been taught the same story: that love is something we find outside of ourselves. It comes from a special someone, from success, from belonging, or from the praise and approval of others. And while those things can feel wonderful, they also leave us vulnerable. When we pin our source of love on external things, we are bound to feel disappointed at some point. Why? Because the true source of love has always, and will always, come from within us.
The Myth of External Love
For years, we’ve been conditioned to believe that love is a prize we win—whether through relationships, achievements, or the validation of others. Society reinforces the idea that if we just meet the right person, if we just achieve enough, if we just fit in, we will finally feel complete. But let’s be real for a moment. How many times have you reached a goal or found validation, only to feel like something was still missing?
The truth is, external love—while nice—is fleeting. It’s like drinking from a cup with a hole in it. No matter how much you pour in, you’ll always feel empty unless you start filling from the inside.
The Real Source of Love
The love we seek from others? It already exists within us. We’ve just been conditioned to forget it. Think about it: every time you look outside yourself for love, you’re essentially handing over the key to your happiness to someone or something else. And when they fail to meet your expectations (because, let’s be honest, they will—eventually), you’re left feeling empty and disappointed. But when we learn to love ourselves from the inside out, everything changes.
When love comes from within, it’s boundless. It’s not tied to conditions or expectations. It’s a love that grows, regardless of what’s happening in the world around you. And here’s the real magic: the more you love yourself, the more love you attract from others. It’s as if the universe responds to the love you radiate by reflecting it right back to you.
Teaching Self-Love to My Children
As a parent, this is something I am incredibly mindful of when raising my children. Yes, I praise them. I tell them how wonderful, smart, and special they are. But I also ask them to identify what they love about themselves. I want them to get into the practice of looking within for validation, of understanding that they are enough just as they are.
When my kids achieve something, instead of just telling them I’m proud, I ask them, “What are you proud of?” When they create something beautiful, I ask, “What do you love about it?” These small shifts are a way of teaching them that while it’s wonderful to be celebrated by others, the most important celebration is the one that comes from within. This way, they’ll always know where to turn for love—right back to themselves.
Letting Go of External Conditioning
Of course, it’s not easy. We live in a world that constantly tells us we need more, need to do more, need to be more to be worthy of love. But here’s the thing: that’s all just noise. The truth is, you’ve been enough from day one. You don’t need anyone’s permission to love yourself. You don’t need to hit a certain goal or look a certain way to be worthy of love. It’s your birthright.
But how do we get there? How do we let go of the conditioning that’s been ingrained in us for so long? It starts by coming back home to ourselves. By shedding the self-deprecating beliefs and unrealistic expectations placed on us by others. By realizing that the greatest love story you will ever experience is the one with yourself.
Coming Home to Ourselves
Imagine how life would feel if we all did this—if we all stopped chasing love outside of ourselves and started nurturing the endless well of love within. We’d stop comparing. We’d stop feeling unworthy. We’d stop bending over backwards to please others. We’d live in the fullness of who we are, and in doing so, we’d give others permission to do the same.
The greatest love you will ever know is already inside you, waiting for you to come home. So, let’s make a promise to ourselves today: to stop seeking love outside and to start finding it within. Because, my friend, you are your own greatest love story.
Conclusion
It’s time we rewrite the narrative. Instead of seeking love from a world that can only give it to us in pieces, let’s turn inward and find it in its fullest form. Because when we love ourselves, the world around us shifts in extraordinary ways. It’s a journey worth taking—a journey back to the truest, deepest, most fulfilling love you’ll ever experience.
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